"My shadow and I would race and the winner would be determined by the position of the sun." (No idea where this one came from, but I love it.)
(6/20/09) On Prairie Home Companion: "Some say marriage is made in heaven. But so is thunder and lightning."
Kathy! We were piling up mini-cupcakes after a trunk show at the boutique and Kathy turned to me, precariously juggling half-a-dozen containers full of random leftover snacks and said "My cupcake cup runneth over!"
Not sure when/where this one came from, but I found it jotted down in a note on my BBerry: "Lightning is God taking our picture right before he kills us."
"If you use Velveeta, don't tell anyone cuz it'll take away from the classiness of the dish." (6/22/08) Written in the instructions for a Kentucky Hot Brown sandwich recipe online.
(6/7/08) My mom, in a rare alcohol-induced moment of garrulousness, speaking over the phone about her firm status as a pessimist, while sharing a bottle of Dom Perignon with my dad on the event of their 35th anniversary: "Yeah, I'm more of a 'glass-is-half-empty" kind of person." (Turning her voice toward my dad across the room...) "HEY! MY GLASS IS HALF EMPTY!!"
"You and your wind-hating ways..." (4/10/08) Spoken to a frustrated, skirt-wearing friend on a particularly blustery day.
"I'm pretty sure my joysticks are still functioning...but it's been a while. I couldn't be sure." (4/10/08) Spoken by a male coworker in regards to the questionable functionality of his Atari 2600 gaming system.
(6/7/08) My mom, in a rare alcohol-induced moment of garrulousness, speaking over the phone about her firm status as a pessimist, while sharing a bottle of Dom Perignon with my dad on the event of their 35th anniversary: "Yeah, I'm more of a 'glass-is-half-empty" kind of person." (Turning her voice toward my dad across the room...) "HEY! MY GLASS IS HALF EMPTY!!"
"You and your wind-hating ways..." (4/10/08) Spoken to a frustrated, skirt-wearing friend on a particularly blustery day.
"I'm pretty sure my joysticks are still functioning...but it's been a while. I couldn't be sure." (4/10/08) Spoken by a male coworker in regards to the questionable functionality of his Atari 2600 gaming system.
"You weren't drunk...you were of diminished inhibitions." (4/10/08) To a coworker about how intoxicated he may or may not have been at last year's staff retreat.
"I said something pervy in front of the Tea Queen!" (4/10/08) Spoken by the Glamorous Jo. Can I really explain? The Tea Queen was a lady in our office who decorated her cubicle in the "flowery sachet" style. She had a tray with a fancy tea pot and cups on her desk. Oh, and a license plate that says TeaQn. (Which to me, actually reads "Tea Kune.")
Similarly, "She scares the chai out of me." By Schmancey, possibly in the same conversation, speaking of the Tea Queen.
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